BEYOND THE FRINGEFAN
is a monthly personalzine/apa-zine/letter-substitute written, edited, and published by Beyond the Fringefan a/k/a Marc S. Glasser, and distributed through e-APA-NYU as well as directly via the Internet and (if you ask nicely) through the mails. Copies may be requested by contacting him at the N.Y. Cadre (1088 East 40th Street, Brooklyn, New York 11210 ((718) NY-CADRE; firstname.lastname@example.org); recent issues may also be viewed at <http://nycadre.org/btf>. This is Beyond the Fringefan #418, for readers of APA-NYU Volume 10, #1 (e-APA-NYU #93) and other Mayan chronologists, published January 2012 as a combined production of Quick Brown Fox Press and Syscrash Consulting, both subsidiaries of . All uncredited material copyright ©2012 by Marc S. Glasser. Member fwa.
BARF, HUMBUG: Those who know my attitude toward the holiday season may not find it terribly surprising to hear that I became violently ill on Christmas Eve. Even so, the physical symptoms were not something usual for me—in fact, the last time I had to deal with shivering chills and reverse peristalsis was the run-up to my gallbladder surgery nearly two years ago. Donna was dealing with her own version for a day or two prior and a day or two thereafter, leading to her consumption of an unusual number of Imodium tablets. Luckily, we were both sufficiently recovered in a week to ring in the new year by eating shrimp and franks-in-blankets and drinking Asti Spumante while making fun of the performers being televised from Times Square. Never a dull moment at the Cadre...
ENOUGH ALREADY: The old year wouldn't go without taking another couple of ladies from us on its way out the door. Farewell to Toby Tesser, mother of Lunarian/NYUSFan/multi-apan Gary Tesser; and Boston-area fan and filker Alice E. Washburn, known to most of us as Badger.
CONTINUE UNTIL DONE: Ogilvy, the ad agency where I was filling in for Movie Mike in December, liked me enough to ask me back for the first three working days in January, since Mike wouldn't be back until the end of that week. Presumably, since this assignment was carried out through Update Graphics, the people there now know that I can do the job, making a total of three freelance agencies which will send business my way in the new year.
I was mildly amused to see a posting on one of the job boards in mid-December from Net-A-Porter, seeking a full-time proofreader. I guess the home office reversed its October decision to do all the subediting in London. I chose not to send in an application in response. What would I have done if they'd specifically contacted me through 24 Seven and asked me back? Not sure, but I'm kind of relieved that they didn't.
DOCTOR, WHO?: The day after my last day (for the time being) at Ogilvy, I paid my first visit to a medical office on Avenue X, to see a doctor recommended to me by Deb Wunder. Dr. B. is about a decade younger than me, born and educated in the former U.S.S.R. (like the other two partners in the practice), but living in America since his internship nearly 20 years ago. His accent is thin enough for me to have little trouble understanding him, a Good Thing if I'm going to entrust him with my health. He did a basic physical on me, took some blood for tests, had one of his staffers do sonograms on my heart and carotid arteries, and pronounced me in overall good health (subject to what the blood tests turn up).
While I was at it, I asked about some pain I've been noticing in recent months in the vicinity of my elbows. After some testing involving having me try to turn my arm against his resistance, Dr. B. diagnosed tendinitis (confirming what a couple of others who aren't doctors had suggested over the past month). Given my life- and workstyle, he believes it has to do with holding my arms in unduly stressful positions for excessive lengths of time while using keyboards and mice. Unfortunately, there's no way I can possibly follow his best recommendation, which is to completely avoid keyboards and mice for a month or two. I'll be attempting to research other ways of reducing stress on my elbows while continuing to use computers at home and in a variety of workplaces. (At home I have my laptop on a raised platform that brings the screen to a level just below my eyes, while I use an auxiliary keyboard resting on an improvised shelf so that it's just below the level of the armrests of my chair. The mouse sits on a couple of VHS tapes positioned on a level with the armrests.)
Comments on APA-NYU, Volume 9, #12 (e-APA-NYU #92)
And that concludes another January issue. I have no clue what the month will bring, other than my biennial colonoscopy and a bunch of far-too-early Presidential primaries. (At least one of those produces meaningful results.) See you in another month or so, right after Punxsutawney Phil and Staten Island Chuck. May we all be warm and dry and have good traction until then!
LIFE* AT HOME (Ariel Cinii):
- "as a character in one of my stories said, 'What is a recluse anyway? Just a shy person with a great place to hide.'" Ah, but what is a shy person? Someone who isn't good at socializing, or someone who doesn't want to socialize?
Or someone who isn't eating enough Powdermilk biscuits? (I seem to be getting more reclusive in my old age, as more and more things and people seem not worth the trouble of leaving the house. I recall a Feghoot I wrote a couple of decades ago, in which the protagonist took a job as chauffeur for Howard Hughes—only to get arrested for recluse driving.) /*/ I'd have thought three skunks crossing your path would be a very ill omen indeed—but a number of authors seem to think that skunks, thanks to their near-invincible natural weaponry, which, however, can only be used defensively, represent "protection, confidence, awareness, pacification, effectiveness, good judgement." So I guess that as long as the skunks didn't feel inspired to spray you, it was a favorable portent. /*/ Glad the household equipage and layout are coming together for you. /*/ Are you more embarrassed at getting Pearl Harbor's year wrong (it was 1941, not 1944) or at misspelling William "Shattner's" last name?
JAMISON, TAKE e-LETTER (Mark L. Blackman):
- (¢APA-NEWS) "The Alous are best-remembered today as a crossword puzzle clue." In the 1980s in APA-NYU, Judith Friedman revealed the long-suppressed datum that there was a fourth brother, Boog, who'd also gone into baseball, but he'd changed his last name to Powell at his manager's suggestion. /*/ (¢Nelson) "Lust-struck weretigers aren't 'sweet'; you don't want to be clawed by them in the throes of passion." Hence the words of wisdom, "I don't wanna be a tiger/'Cause tigers play too rough;/I don't wanna be a lion/'Cause lions ain't the kind/You love enough." /*/ (¢me) "HeiferCat is better than none? (Sorry.)" You needn't be sorry; in fact, when I named her, I was stealing your gag (an APA-NYU cover you'd done shortly before we got her, depicting a cow, with the caption, "Heifer cover is better than none").
ICONOCLAST (Joel Nelson):
- If you determine that you really were "born on the wrong continent," you can move; however, in spite of the better working hours, vacation time, and medical-care delivery system, there don't seem to be a lot of Americans moving to Europe. The immigration laws must be a bitch.
/*/ In re your book reviews, I fail to see how "Jesus could have healed her in front of the laughing and mocking crowd. He's the Son of God. He could do anything" is contravened by "he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief." What he could do and what he chose to do are not necessarily the same thing. For different reasons, I don't see "I know America is no longer a Christian nation" as contradicted by "If 75 to 85 percent of Americans identify themselves as Christians ..." Having a majority of the population profess a particular religion is not the same as having a state religion. As a non-Christian, I consider this distinction crucial, and become nervous when professing Christians try to blur or lose it. (And what does he mean by "no longer"? This country never had a state religion.) /*/ "Say what you mean and mean what you say" is good advice no matter who said or wrote it. /*/ (¢Blackman) "Any possibility that I have to take over 1 line during a day triggers my buying of an all-day pass." Not necessary in the New York subways, where most transfers are achieved without ever leaving fare control. For the past 14 years, the MetroCards have even permitted one free transfer (per trip) between bus and subway or between two buses. (Also, the MTA in its wisdom discontinued all-day passes the last time fares went up, so I couldn't buy one if I wanted to. There are all-week and all-month passes still available, but at current prices, they don't save you any money unless you take a round trip every weekday and more than one every weekend.)
>Portions of the preceding were sick of election year before it even began.<
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